Flagellation
by icingsugar
Summary: "The thought came to her in that moment, mocking her, that if she hadn't have gone to the kitchen to get her cup of jasmine tea she might never have realised…she would have been able to grow old and content without ever feeling that dark stab in her gut." Onesided BBxRae with BBxTerra. Rated for a reason. Please review!


**AN: I am really happy to be writing a Teen Titans fic for the first time in almost a decade, especially as the first fanfiction I ever read was a Beastboy and Raven fic. I hope you enjoy this oneshot. Please be warned it is rated M for very mature adult scenes and language, if this is not your thing please don't read. Please review, I love feedback, and also have a look at my other fics.**

She hadn't known, not consciously at least. He had a way of driving her to near insanity sometimes, with his childish jokes and incessant pestering, and if she had ever looked at him curiously, peering over her heavy book as they ate dinner or gathered around the sofa, it was only because she wanted to work out why he seemed to disagreeable to her and not the others. At least that was what she thought. It all seemed so obvious now, as her stomach seemed to drop into her bowels and she felt the hard lump in her throat threatening to choke her. She should have just stayed in her room, oblivious. The thought came to her in that moment, mocking her, that if she hadn't have gone to the kitchen to get her cup of jasmine tea she might never have realised…she would have been able to grow old and content without ever feeling that dark stab in her gut.

It was dark in the tower as she walked along the long passageway, her feet barely making a sound on the soft grey carpet. The lights had just begun to switch on in the city and the low golden glow creates enough light for Raven to navigate the length of the hallway as it twists and turns in the short walk to the shared communal space. She glances briefly across the bay and imagines the low tides of citizens streaming out of the cinemas and theatres across the city, making their way to the restaurants and bars to begin their weekend. The others had asked if she wanted to join them at the Italian restaurant on 5th Avenue to celebrate their latest defeat. She can see them now in her mind, arguing over the breadsticks and the last slice of pizza as Beastboy knocks over a glass of wine and the others roll their eyes. Now she thinks of it, perhaps she should have gone. It was too quiet in the tower, _too dark,_ and it was making her a little uneasy. She shakes away the thought, her mind returning to the Zola book she had borrowed from the library; she can almost taste the absinthe and the smell of cigar smoke in the brothel as she approaches the living room.

The first thing she notices is the narrow stream of light coming from under the door, and then she hears it. She freezes; wondering if someone had broken in, it wouldn't be the first time. She reaches, instinctively to her belt, her fingers wrapping around the team buzzer as she listens intently, her eyes widening in realisation as she hears a name being whispered behind the door.

"Oh, Terra."

She waits for a response, and when it comes she worries for a second that her bowels are going to open as her stomach curls around the syllables and gasps, her heart freezing inside her chest. She wants to turn and run, but her feet seem stuck to the floor and she can't help but listen. It becomes more obvious now. She can hear the rhythmic sounds of the sofa groaning under weight, of thighs slapping together, of gasps against mouths and skin. She can hear Beastboy fucking Terra, his cock sliding in and out of her cunt, their tongues meeting as their lips part. In that moment it all seems so clear to her, in an instant, she feels her cheeks darken as she realises it all…understands why he had always seemed to bother her so much, and why her eyes had always lingered just a second too long when he walked in the room. She feels sick. She needs to leave. But she also wants to _see_ it. The thought frightens her for a moment and allows her to turn around, her feet finally freed of the imaginary swamp which had kept her immobile for so long. She doesn't worry about them hearing her as she walks, a little hastily, back towards her room.

The automatic door had barely slid shut behind her when she falls to the floor, her palms grazing the rough carpet. She feels that lump in her throat rising again and tries to fight back tears as she rips off her cloak, letting it fall by her side as she lies flat on the floor. She was in love with him, and wasn't that just _fucking ironic_? The one person she thought she hated, the one who could irritate her beyond belief had gotten this violent reaction from her. And why shouldn't he fuck Terra? Hadn't she known that they were dating? And it never bothered her before. Raven lets out a sigh, realising, as she strips off her leotard, pulling the thin fabric down over her breasts and stomach. She had wanted it to be _her_. She had wanted him to be the one to take her and she wanted to have him in return; his _virginity._ She wanted him to look up at her, wide eyed, as she lowers herself down onto him, feeling him inside her, _knowing_ that she was the first girl to make him feel this way. And now she could never have that. No matter what happened, she would never be able to have that from him, and he would never be able to give that to her. She lets out an agonised moan as her leotard joins her cloak on the floor, her hand moving to remove her sodden underwear.

 _I'm a masochist,_ she thinks. _I must be._ As she moves her hand down between her legs she focusses hard in a way she rarely does, her cheeks wet with tears, listening intensely, focussing, moving in, pinpointing. She can hear them. She doesn't know if it's a side effect of her powers, or if it's a skill she has learned through meditation, but she can hear them together as though they were in the room with her and for what she cannot see, her mind fills in the blanks. Terra is on top, grinding her hips as Beastboy's lips part in a silent moan. Raven moves her hand down, sinking her index finger into her wet cunt as she focusses on the sounds.

"Terra." Beastboy moans, his lips briefly moving downwards to lick at a hardened nipple. "You have no idea what you do to me…" He barely manages the words and Terra turns her face towards him, sucking his lower lip, her tongue flirting. They move apart and he thrusts upwards, moving his hips to meet hers, his cock fucking her deeper and harder. She gasps at the sensation and Raven gasps as she adds another finger, pumping her hand faster and harder, her own mouth parted against the thin carpet. She hears the sounds as his mouth encloses around Terra's nipple, his tongue darting against the bud, his hand moving to cup her breast.

"Oh god. Like that." Terra moans, moving her hips higher until the head of his cock in barely in her, and then moving back down, filling her completely. He can barely control himself. Raven can feel it. He reaches down to brush Terra's swollen clit and strokes her roughly, his hand slipping and brushing himself along with her.

Raven pulls herself up, desperately, her palms against the carpet and she crawls on all fours, her cunt dripping in the cold air. She hates him. She hates _her._ She wants to peel off her skin with a potato knife and watch her scream as the blood pools on the kitchen floor. She wants to step in it, to trail it through the tower, her boots leaving patterned prints along the laminated wood. Most of all she wants to be fucked by Beastboy, to have him fill all of her holes, to make her gag as he rams his cock in her mouth. She wants him to make her beg for it, to make her cry, to kiss her temple and whisper to her at night. She can hear the pace quickening and she reaches up, blindly feeling along the surface of her bedside desk in the dark, reaching for something, _anything_ that she can use. She feels the wide girth of her hairbrush and collapses on the floor once again.

They have started to moan together now, unable to speak as he grabs Terra's hips and pulls her up and down on his length, feeling no resistance as she practically screams in pleasure, her blonde hair flying back and hitting her shoulder blades. Raven takes a deep breath and pushes the thick handle of the brush into her, feeling herself tear; she grits her teeth in pain, feeling the blood run over her fingers. She imagines it is him; she can do so vividly, almost feeling the softness of his lips as he kisses her, stifling back the gasp. She would smile at him and nod against his cheek as he moved, slowly at first, inside her. She can hear the beginnings of his orgasm in the living room, the pre-cum dripping into Terra as he licks along her neck. She doesn't bother with niceties as she plunges the object deeper into her cunt, quicker and quicker as she moves her other hand down, along her breasts, to rub herself to orgasm. The carpet burns against her naked back, her body aches and it hurts between her legs but she pushes on, feeling her own tortured climax nearing.

"Oh god, Terra, Terra, Terra." He moans, pushing himself forward, drawing out the last few moments of pleasure, clinging to it desperately for as long as he can.

"Gar." Terra and Raven gasp together, fucking harder and harder, falling apart at the seams.

That does it. Raven's head snaps back as her breathing slowly calms down. She can no longer hear them in the living room and she doesn't care. She doesn't want to hear the aftermath. She lies there, slowly turning around and drawing her knees up to her chest, the object still inside her, and the ground damp beneath her. She never knew that it could hurt this much. That he could destroy her like this. And he would never know, she could never tell him. Raven feels her eyes dampen once more as she hugs her grazed knees, allowing herself to be consumed.

 **AN: I can only apologise and hide in a corner after doing this to poor Raven. Pretty please leave a few lines in the comment section, I will love you forever! Also favourite if you liked it and check out my other fics. Thank you so much for reading!**


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